Yesterday was such an incredible day.. the sun shining, the wind warm. After lunch Mom and I decided to go out for a bit of a drive. Mom doesn’t get out much these days, unless she is with me, so my thought was that a drive, maybe to the park, would be nice for the both of us.
“Would you like to get out of the car and sit by the duck pond?” I asked Mom as we drove down the park road, umbrellaed by trees on both sides.
“Ok,” she responded, “but I can’t see much.”
“I know Mom, but at least you can get some fresh air and enjoy the sun.”
She nodded as I pulled into the parking lot and found a spot marked handicap parking.
Mom’s eye sight has been getting worse this past year and I always feel so helpless whenever she brings it up. She is still independent for the most part, but I know that her poor vision is becoming more and more of a concern.
And lately I have been noticing other things as well.
“I haven’t been here before,” Mom commented as I turned off the ignition.
I turned and smiled as I opened the car door. She has been here before, quite often in fact.. but that’s ok.
She patiently waited for me to walk over to the passenger side. I opened her door and out she stepped, this short, tiny little lady who seems to be getting visibly smaller with each passing day.
I pulled out her walker from the back seat of my car and we headed off towards the pond, Mom trailing behind me. This has become our walking pattern, me in front, her about three feet behind.
When she first started doing this I found it bothersome. I was forever stopping to let her catch up. She never bothered to explained the why of it all, but I finally clued in to the fact that she was using me as her guide. She just couldn’t see well enough to navigate herself especially in an unfamiliar place. Unknowingly, I had become her eyes. Funny .. to this day we never talk about this, it is just something we have come to do… a little parade of two.
That afternoon we had barely reached the end of the parking lot when the first Canadian Goose came waddling by, then another and another. By the time we made it to a bench at the edge of the pond we were encircled by meandering, shuffling waterfowl. Canadian geese and Mallard ducks were everywhere.
Mom couldn’t get over how fearless they were, almost brazen in their attitudes. Not the least bit timid, some waddled about on the shore while most glided skillfully through the water, pausing occasionally to preform little head dunks, leaving their little webbed feet paddling away in mid air.
Mom and I sat quietly on the bench, sometimes commenting and frequently smiling at their antics.
After about 10 minutes, without turning towards me, I heard Mom say in a quiet voice, “My back is getting a little sore”.
“Ready to go Mom?” I said, knowing my cue.
“I think so.” she replied.
So off we went, in single file, back to the car, and then back to her apartment.
At her door I leaned down to give her a hug. “I love you Mom.”
“I love you too Col. Thanks for this afternoon. I really enjoyed it, even thought I couldn’t see it all that well.”
*Sigh*
I have heard it said that getting old is not for sissies and that I believe to be true.
But watching someone you love fade, and slowly lose their luster, can be just as daunting.
I guess that’s one of the harder parts of life.
Cas
You did a good thing for her. Little outings break up the days.
Oh I didn’t know I was coming over here this morning to a tear jerker. What a lovely post and how nice of you to stop and take that time with your mother. All of us take for granted that we will have the same energy, hearing and sight forever and we just won’t. Your patience and love must mean so much to her now.
And your photography A+ as it always is!
That brings tears.
Thank-you, Col.
What a beautiful post!
Times like these are difficult, but I would give so much for just one day like this with my mother.
What you are going through is what I fear happening in my mother’s life. By our traveling so much, I notice the changes so much more when we return. Denny knows that the time will come that I will ask him to hang up the keys for a while so I can care for my mother. But that’s okay–look at how much time she invested in me.
(((Coll)))
Colleen, You are such a good daughter and your Mom is lucky to have you at her side.
Lovely lake photo on the top of your blog page.
Her sight has deteriorated a lot. It gives a dignity I think to not speak to her of you being her eyes. I really should go visit my dad soon.
Dear Colleen, I’m reading backwards here to catch up. This post… “a little parade of two”…. I can feel what you felt just by that line. I remember it well. Aging is not fun but you’re good with catching the signs of your Moms’ behaviour. That is no small feat. All the little things to catch…its’ hard, at least it was for me sometimes. I admire you.
How to say this….I know how you feel. Thank you for sharing this. You are a wonderful soul and a beautiful daughter {Hug}
Beautiful fall photo, and a touching scene you described…
Hello Colleen,
This is the first day to your site and after only a couple readings, I just love the comfortable feel of your blog.
I happened onto it by accident really. I was looking for the seed starting folder you used to have on the Garden Path. This to help a new poaster at Garden Talk. I couldn’t find the old file, but, that is ok. I get the benefit of this search.
I will be visiting again soon. Thanks for a lovely site and a genuinely wonderful afternoon read.
Sandy Reno, Nevada